


Stars to Guide By

by LittleRaven



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Becoming ready to move on after pining, Canon Compliant, F/M, Forbidden Love, Incest, Minor Leia Organa/Han Solo, Pining, Sibling Incest, Taboo, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 12:36:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20192398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleRaven/pseuds/LittleRaven
Summary: It was her Rebellion. He flew for her.





	Stars to Guide By

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Penknife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penknife/gifts).

She hadn’t even stepped foot on the planet, but she was the only beautiful thing the sand of this world had ever known; Luke was certain of it. The only thing to separate her from a mirage in the desert was the blue of the hologram. Of course, she hadn’t been able to come herself, in person—the galaxy did not bring such people here. 

But it could bring him to her. He knew, long before he saw the smoke and the corpses, that he wouldn’t remain on Tatooine much longer. The deaths of his remaining family ensured that it would be a one-way journey. He carried what was left of them away in the vengeance he promised to exact, to honor their memory more than a dirty grave ever could, and he didn’t look back. Home lay forward. 

When he looked into the eyes of the princess, after he’d saved her and she’d saved him, he knew what he had to do. Luke couldn’t understand why Han didn’t, and though he was angry at him for it, he was also glad; he had just been starting to like him, and did not know how he would have borne him continuing to be close to Leia in the future. A smuggler couldn’t really be much less than a farm boy to a princess, and must know more about the ways of the galaxy besides. Two understandings, two sides of the same thing, and what would he be between them? 

Luke loved Han for returning, but as they walked up to her, his heart clenched. Leia’s hands brushed his hair as she draped the medal round his neck, and he wondered if she noticed the heat he felt coming out of him. He wondered, looking at Han, if he had felt the same. If they had shared it, leaving him out. 

He flew for the Rebellion, and the insecurity flew with him. He drowned it out with the sound of his lightsaber, the deaths he caused, the lives he saved and saw reflected every time he had another chance to look in Leia’s eyes. It was her, Luke thought; he recognized no other authority, though his words acknowledged them. 

It was her Rebellion. He flew for her, acted as he had done to save her, who had brought him out of obscurity to the destiny he knew had always been waiting for him far away beyond Tatooine. Luke did not spare much time for introspection, but there were battles when he remembered how he’d dreamed of going to the Academy to fly for the empire. The idea of fighting against her could never quite take form—he found it difficult to imagine not being on her side, or that she could be on the wrong one. He thought of her, all in white, speaking imperial propaganda, but the words were blurred, her dark eyes burning through him as if daring him to try to make sense of this. 

He was grateful. Leia had brought him away from the empire, redirected his yearning to fly into her greater purpose. He wondered if she knew. Did she ever think about it, as she ran her missions? When she touched him? Did she put her hand on his arm and wonder what it would be like if it weren’t there, what it would be like to fight against him? Could she imagine doing it? She did not, he was sure, wonder if she could have ever been with the empire, on any other side but the right one. Leia moved with the certainty of drive, and the knowledge that hope was just as much an ideal to work for as it was a feeling to experience. 

She knew what she was doing. When she kissed him, his mind went quiet save for the hum that was her presence, and he knew he could never do other than what he was doing, never be other than here with her. 

He didn’t think Han could have that certainty, for all he had stayed with them. 

Luke’s heart stirred at the thought of leaving them both behind to follow Obi-Wan’s direction, but the protest at leaving them both together was dimmer than he’d been expecting. Leia had given him hope, without even trying. It was enough to live for, as he strove to be a better Jedi in her cause. 

He wanted to blame Dagobah. He could blame it. Yoda too. The man who’d arrived there to learn, frustrated and impatient as he’d been with his teacher and the muck they lived in, would have. He could feel him still, not too far away under his skin. Luke let the experience wash over him like a wave, and it dissipated as it broke. 

If he had not gone to Dagobah, he would have been with Leia and Han. If he had been with them, they could not have gotten used as bait. Leia would not be missing Han, and Luke wouldn’t be fighting not to imagine him dead for Jabba’s pleasure. 

If he had been there, they would not have suffered, and, perhaps, he would have escaped Vader whole, or not met him at all until he was ready, stayed the dreaming boy who would avenge his family with one hand and win a final victory for his princess’ cause in performing the deed. He would not have learned he had a demon for a father. He might not now be learning how in gaining a sister, he had lost a lover. 

Yoda wasn’t the only one who could take blame—Obi-Wan had sent Luke to him. Obi-Wan had lied. His father had been both more, and less, than a hero. His father who had claimed to want them together and then maimed him. Luke drew a breath. 

His father was not who he’d thought, but he was also not dead. What once he thought only to honor, he could now find. 

His princess was not to be the love that would bring him to his destiny, the life he’d always wanted to have. She would be the family he’d thought gone, and he remained as ready to fight for her as he always had been; he could not do otherwise. 

His friend would be a friend, not a rival, and he knew he would commit to that in his work with Leia to save him. 

He couldn’t make those things be in thinking them. He couldn’t make himself find acceptance. 

Still, Luke thought he understood them. It would have to be a start. 

He allowed himself to hope it would be enough. 

Leia was waiting for him.


End file.
